God! Ive been away for over 3 months! Im so sorry!

Alots happened in that time....i finished uni, found out my parents were gettin divorced (which was finalised yesterday) n ive moved bk hom eto live with my dad. desperatley trying to find a job...but after 2 months still nothing. Its bloody depressing! But anyway now ive decided i miss liverpool 2 much n i wanna go bk. Was horrible telling my dad...he must feel like everyone is just deserting him

My eating has been...well...terrible. Ive lost the same 7lbs about 3 times in the last 2 months. Id stopped binging badly but that has returned in the last week or so. I was on track to have lost a stone by the time i visit liverpool next wkend but thats gone out of the window now!....n i mite b seein the boy i like and am def seein my ex n his gf. n im still FAT.

Im gunna post pics of me 2day.  I did this on Lj yesterday 2 try shock myself in2 stopping this ridiculous cycle of binges...by letting everyone see how huge I am. 

So here is some reverse thinspo for u all!

^ This is me at about 112...my lw was 108....this was over 3 years ago. i want this bk so bad. n dont get why its so hard this time. it was so easy last time...i went from about 136 to 112 in 6/7 weeks....ive been tryin 2 get bk there ever since.

^ sorry pic is so small...but this was me coupla weeks ago at graduation. at about 154. Ugh I make myself sick...(the gown does quite a gd job at hiding my fat!) doesnt help that im standing nxt 2 my mum who is literally a skeleton. (she def has eating issues n i dont even wanna b as thin as her)

So now ive grossed u out ill give u some nice thinspiration. (ive almost reached 1000 pics in my collection now lol)

Im really gunna try update this blog regularly if not daily from now on. I feel it helps me stay stronger.

I HAVE 2 do this! I CAN do this. I CAN look like that 1st pic again! I just need 2 stop putting that bloody stuff in my mouth!

enjoy! and pls comment if u like! xxx

      i just had my dissertation presentation...n omg i dont think i breathed once the whole 20mins i was in there! i shit myself in those situations...it was just me n 2 scary lecturers n i had 2 explain my project n then they asked me a bunch of questions. golly gosh scary but its over now n i survived...now just 4 exams to get through in the next 10days

So stuck 2 my new plan yesterday and sofar 2day...just got dinner left....today will be 593cals